A non-profit organisation in Bridgetown is helping to free women from abusive relationships and turn their lives around, says its founder.
In May, the Callas Foundation, will start its third women’s support group, a 12-week programme described by Caroline Peters as an empowerment initiative.
“We don’t advocate that women must leave their husbands. We do, however, empower you to make your own decisions. Our organisation is about building communities. So far, a total of 24 women have been part of our support group, but the need is so much greater.”
Ms Peters founded the organisation as a feeding programme three years ago, when poverty levels surged because people could not work because of the pandemic. And when Ms Peters noticed that some of the women standing in line for food were crying, she learnt that domestic violence was also rampant during lockdown as women were forced into prolonged periods of isolation with their abusers.
The group meets once a week, and, depending on what the need is among the women there, the Callas Foundation uses the services of a social worker, a trauma specialist and trained counsellors. The women are also assessed to see if they need one-on-one counselling.
“What we have found is that in the support group, women can identify with one another’s challenges, and they also realise that they are not alone in this. The women who have gone through the programme now also support one another. Those same women also support our Access to Justice programme, where we support women at court,” said Ms Peters.
One of the group’s success stories is that of “Carrie”, a 37-year-old mother of three children.
Carrie’s life from a young age was filled with trauma, she had been raped, her family moved a lot, and she had to help raise her younger siblings, and she was even “sold” by her mother as a prostitute when she was a teenager.
“I hated myself, but knew I had to do this for her love and affection and approval of me. This is when I started using drugs to numb the pain that I was feeling. I felt disappointed with myself and with my family. I felt alone and worthless. I was on drugs for two years, and during that time, I acted out in a lot of unhealthy ways. I also tried to commit suicide so many times. I was lost and cried out for help. At 19, I met my ex-husband, and the father of my three children. He was a charming man. I thought I had found what was missing in my life,” Carrie said.
Her ex-husband, however, was a drug addict who became a career criminal after losing his job.
“He stole and sold cars for a living and was in and out of prison. I thought it was cool. I would visit him in prison and make sure he had everything he needed while he was there. I paid whomever I needed to pay to make sure he got out of prison or avoided an arrest. I was complicit in many of his criminal activities and committed known and unknown crimes in the name of protecting him and keeping the family together.
“A life of crime and living off the proceeds of crime became normal. The abuse in our marriage did not only affect me, but also our boys. I would pretend to everyone that things are okay, but, again, during our support group, I realised the extent of the abuse, in all forms, economical, sexual, verbal, psychological, and eventually it became physical.
“I was also hustling to survive. I was not trusted by members of my community. I was disconnected from my own family. The marriage became more and more toxic. I later became sick from all the stress that I was experiencing.”
It was when she realised that she too could be jailed that she decided to reach out for help, as she did not want her children to lose both their parents.
“I shared my struggles with an auntie in my area who referred me to Auntie Caroline of Callas Foundation. At Callas Foundation, I joined a women’s support group, where I met other women like me. Women who struggled with drugs, committed crimes and had partners who were on drugs. They had also experienced various forms of abuse in their lives.
“I realised that I was not alone. The support group forced me to address my traumas and take responsibility for my actions.
“Callas Foundation also runs a community kitchen, where I received food for me and my children every day. This meant that I did not have to resort to hustle or compromise my morals and values, as my children would have a plate of food,” Carrie said.
She later got a protection order against her ex-husband and divorced him. The journey has not been easy, though, as Carrie said the criminal life, at times, seemed easier than the way she struggled financially after leaving that life.
“I persevered. I understand that for many women, it is not easy to break free from a life of crime, as we always want to keep the family together. I thank God that I could exit this life. Today I am a working single mother. I am a trusted member of society. I work as an administration assistant, I got my driver’s licence and I have my own place. I learned that my past does not define me.”
If you would like to join the support group, contact Lynette Dixon at 072 539 5113.