The saying “opposites attract” is definitely true when it comes to Wilma and Graham van Eeden, who celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary last week.
The Van Eedens have been staying in their Bolton Road home in Athlone all their married life and celebrated their anniversary on Monday November 7.
Wilma, 69, met Graham, 73, as a child when they played soccer in the road. The two were not fond of each other at all as Graham and his friends would kick the girls’ ball hard, right down the road if it passed them, says Wilma.
Graham later became friends with Wilma’s brother and that is how the couple got to know each other. They dated for a while, and in 1972 they got married. They had four children and nine grandchildren.
Wilma says she can’t believe they made it this far as they are so different: she loves going to church, knitting and going on holidays, while he enjoys sports and peace and quiet.
“He always came to the house when my brother was gone and mom would ask who is he coming here for and no one would know. My mom would say someone must go talk to him. So I was there and I went. My sisters ran away when they saw him in the road. Each one had to take a turn to talk to him and we stuck.”
Love and respect are the glue that has held them together all these years, she says, although they do have moments when they get on each others nerves: Graham says he gets irritated when Wilma’s elbows knock him in bed while she’s knitting and Wilma says Graham’s habit of watching the TV with the volume all the way up presses her buttons.
“We live different lives: he’s a sportsman and I’m not. I enjoy church, craft groups, and ladies’ classes and he doesn’t. But he will always help me with my projects. As different as we are, we always help each other,” she says.
Graham’s best quality is his gentle, quiet nature, she says.
“He has a high tolerance level. Even when raising kids, I was the screamer, but they were scared of him,” she says.
Graham says respect and patience – qualities he feels so many young people lack today – have been the bedrock of their relationship. He also has high praise for his wife’s cabbage and tomato bredies.
The couple’s daughter, Merlyn Manuel, says her memories are of a fun, loving childhood.
“We had a fun upbringing; we did lots of fun stuff. My parents were fun and loving, not harsh. They compromised, always had a good understanding, also knowing when to keep quiet.”
Wilma says Graham’s reticence has shown itself it in some quirky ways at times, such as when she gave birth to their twins.
“When we had the twins he went to all of the neighbours and knocked on their door and told them that I had twins so they all came to see the babies because it was rare. They asked where the babies were and that is how his mother found out that it was twins – he didn’t even tell her,” she says.
And the story takes an even quirkier twist, as Wilma recalls why she was so upset on the day she and the babies came home.
“At the hospital, he fetched me with a dress, a panty and a vest and I was so mad: there were two babies and they need warm clothing. I had to phone someone to bring us clothes.”
Wilma says young people getting married should have respect for each other; they should stick together when times get tough and sort out their problems by communicating.